We know that choosing to enter a Twelve Step program or treatment for addiction presents a unique set of challenges. One that many people do not see coming is the experience of being a part of a culture in which participants are expected to communicate. For men especially, this can be unfamiliar and uncomfortable. But this is also the start of the most amazing journey they will ever take: a man's journey through the Twelve Steps.
Creating gender awareness for men in recovery is my passion. I want to help men look more honestly at their lives, and to look at and respond to the issues we face as men in Western society. Two essential questions drive this passion and form the foundation of my book A Man's Way Through the Twelve Steps:
1.) Who am I? For most people in or out of recovery, the honest answer to this question is: "I don't know." While A Man's Way Through the Twelve Steps can't address all issues men face today, it can help men confront the changes they are faced with. Men will rediscover parts of themselves they had forgotten, tried to hide from, and never even knew about.
2.) What does it mean to be a man? There are certain ways of talking, acting, and thinking that many men just assume are just who they are. They often don't recognize that they are following a cultural "script" for being a man, and that every day, they are putting on a costume and acting out that script. Addictions to drugs, gambling, sex, rage, or relationships are part of the fabric of that costume. But the true self remains hidden. A Man's Way Through the Twelve Steps is meant in part to be a wake-up call. My hope is that, as a result of reading this book, men will think about what it means to be a man, especially in the context of recovery.
Many men have never thought about what being a man has to do with our recovery. Many still assume that "men are the way they are," and they don't see that the narrow definition of masculinity in our culture causes a great deal of pain, grief and limitation. The good news is that today it's easier to recognize how the ways we are raised create limitations for both men and women.
Throughout A Man's Way Through the Twelve Steps, I look at how men are raised within the box of these cultural expectations, with the hope that they will begin to form better ideas of who they are as men. How we see ourselves affects how we see the Steps, how we engage in our recovery, and how we identify and deal with problems. Without a broader vision of what it is to be men, it can be difficult to grow in our recovery, especially in our relationships with other men and women.
As men in recovery, we have addiction and the pain it has caused in common. With the Twelve Steps, we also share a common solution. With every step we take toward loving ourselves and letting go of parts of our costume, we start to see the true and exciting possibilities for who we can be in our relationships and in the world. With that vision comes the freedom to be who we are, regardless of the scripts that society is trying to hand us. By committing to being our true selves, we automatically are becoming the best men we can be.
Creating gender awareness for men in recovery is my passion. I want to help men look more honestly at their lives, and to look at and respond to the issues we face as men in Western society. Two essential questions drive this passion and form the foundation of my book A Man's Way Through the Twelve Steps:
1.) Who am I? For most people in or out of recovery, the honest answer to this question is: "I don't know." While A Man's Way Through the Twelve Steps can't address all issues men face today, it can help men confront the changes they are faced with. Men will rediscover parts of themselves they had forgotten, tried to hide from, and never even knew about.
2.) What does it mean to be a man? There are certain ways of talking, acting, and thinking that many men just assume are just who they are. They often don't recognize that they are following a cultural "script" for being a man, and that every day, they are putting on a costume and acting out that script. Addictions to drugs, gambling, sex, rage, or relationships are part of the fabric of that costume. But the true self remains hidden. A Man's Way Through the Twelve Steps is meant in part to be a wake-up call. My hope is that, as a result of reading this book, men will think about what it means to be a man, especially in the context of recovery.
Many men have never thought about what being a man has to do with our recovery. Many still assume that "men are the way they are," and they don't see that the narrow definition of masculinity in our culture causes a great deal of pain, grief and limitation. The good news is that today it's easier to recognize how the ways we are raised create limitations for both men and women.
Throughout A Man's Way Through the Twelve Steps, I look at how men are raised within the box of these cultural expectations, with the hope that they will begin to form better ideas of who they are as men. How we see ourselves affects how we see the Steps, how we engage in our recovery, and how we identify and deal with problems. Without a broader vision of what it is to be men, it can be difficult to grow in our recovery, especially in our relationships with other men and women.
As men in recovery, we have addiction and the pain it has caused in common. With the Twelve Steps, we also share a common solution. With every step we take toward loving ourselves and letting go of parts of our costume, we start to see the true and exciting possibilities for who we can be in our relationships and in the world. With that vision comes the freedom to be who we are, regardless of the scripts that society is trying to hand us. By committing to being our true selves, we automatically are becoming the best men we can be.
About the Author:
Dan Griffin, M.A., has worked in the mental health and addictions field for over 16 years. He is author of A Man's Way Through the Twelve Steps, which looks comprehensively and holistically at men's recovery from addiction. To get a free excerpt from his book and his curriculum, go to http://www.dangriffin.com.